Translator Đoàn Tuấn Đức on the process of translating poetry for ‘Space – Không Gian’ Ajar Press‘ first print collection of poetry and short fiction.
Words by Đoàn Tuấn Đức ● Illustrations by Nguyễn Thúy Hằng
Gửi Z
từ khi nào loài nhện cái thôi nhai nỗi đau tự tạo
lìa đời phen diễm tình
phân thể chìm đột quỵ
thoáng hương mất hút
rạn khô nứt mắt
vàng nâu run bần bật
từng khối màu phù thũng
em có thấy?
này Z
hãy thành khẩn hồn nhiên
để khối lòng nghiêng
điền tròn vành vực thẳm.
-Phạm Vũ Văn Khoa –To Z
since whenever, the female spider has ceased gnawing on self-inflicted pain
parting from life upon a rapturous romance
the severed body collapses converging
a fleeting fragrance escapes
withers away before the eyes even open
a yellowing brown throbbing tremble
each swollen lump of color
don’t you see?
hey Z,
will you pledge yourself to innocence
for the whole of your soul to tilt
and complete the round abyss’ rim.
-translated by Đoàn Tuấn Đức-
The Elusive Meaning of Vietnamese Words
Literary Vietnamese words, used extensively in poetry, are compound, created by joining two monosyllabic words together. The monosyllables – which each have their own meaning – form a third meaning when combined, one that agrees with both of the original words. The meaning of the resulting word is far more elusive, ambiguous and multifarious, as it wavers somewhere between the two meanings of its constitutive elements. It does not stay fixed at a definite place, unlike with the more precise meaning of an English word. For example, ‘Diễm’ means ‘beautiful in a dramatic, maudlin way.’ The Vietnamese enunciation of it also gives a meandering, sinuous sense, adding another layer to the word. ‘Tình’ indicates love, yet with a strong connotation of carnality. The compound word ‘diễm tình’ describes a kind of sentimental, delightful love, yet with an ironic and melodramatic perspective. ‘Rapturous romance,’ worked for me here, carrying the sense of carnality, while also being elating, dramatic and ironic.
Grammatical Flow
Unlike English poetry, Vietnamese poetry allows a lot of flexibility and looseness in its use of grammar. The middle part of ‘Gửi Z’ is a medley of adjectives and verbs, without a subject. I believe the poet intended it that way so that his reader would ‘flow’ more effortlessly with the sensations evoked and not be confined by structure.
To preserve the English grammar I dug out the hidden subject Khoa had left open in his words. I determined when a sentence ended and another began. Because of this the English version would have felt more rational than the original. So to compensate for the loss of poetic fluidity I used strong words and strung them in alliterated phrases that give emphatic beats, mimicking a similar effect the original Vietnamese version created. Phrases like ‘collapses converging’ ‘fleeting fragrance’ ‘eyes even open’ ‘throbbing tremble’ help sustain the priority of words and feeling against the rationality of grammar, and lean the translated version closer to the unconscious ‘watery’ feeling Khoa conveys in the poem.
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‘Space – Không Gian’ will be launched 13 January, at 8pm at Tadioto. There will be poetry readings, music and open mic. The Ho Chi Minh City launch is planned for 31 January. The book is available for sale at Manzi.
